Puddle Jumpers
ASL
Ah, tovarisch, the sea. It calls to a man's blood, stirring in him strange longings to see over the horizon from the Motherland to new vistas and new peoples.
That's why the Party has justly banned the sea and we turned our backs on it, charging instead across a mere rivulet with delusions of grandeur to get to the shores of Katalakia, where the despicable enemy had entrenched themselves against assault from the west. We broke their lines by attacking in a glorious flanking manoeuvre through the haze and fog under the guidance of Comrade Pooter. Alpha 1 and Alpha Vic broke through the enemy in sectors two and seven like a hot knife through steak, before wheeling west to hit the westernmost positions of the enemy from their unprotected rear.
As Alpha 1 pushed north through the enemy, Alpha Vic and I paced beside them on the main road with Alpha Vic providing fire support while I watched for enemies with AT attacking Alpha Vic. We took some contact, and after I ran the hell away from buckets of tracer fire after a quick reconsolidating of our position, we opted to loop north and hit them from the north instead of attacking head-on. So I ducked into the cleared compound Alpha 1 had left in its wake, pushed north to link up with them and prepared to push east to hit the enemies at point 10.
At this point I discovered I - or rather my uniform - had been arma'd and for the past several minutes Comrade Madrak had been lovingly but silently using his rangefinder on my naked body. An investigatory committee will be formed to determine the effect of this on Comrade Madrak's combat effectiveness.
Worryingly, preliminary results appear to indicate it improved his focus and efficiency.
Once we'd sorted out my uniform issues, and cleared the last of the enemies from our section of the town, we pushed north-east, deeper into the enemy positions, and started clearing those from south to north. We had some initial danger close contacts, but our ideology proved far more effective than theirs, including our detailed thoughts on coaxial machineguns and massed fire. And soon we had cleared almost all of our assigned area. I was at this stage somewhat hampered by communications issues with CC not working for me in transmit; thus when I tried clearing contacts from a batch of elephant grass which Bravo had reported, they responded by trying to shoot the elephant grass and (surprisingly, given that it was bravo), they actually clipped me with a stray round. This shows Comrades, that no good deed goes unpunished by Arma under the watchful gaze of Comrade Aziz.
Shortly after this court-martialable offence, the last of the hated enemy fell and then we shot him at close range and ended the mission. With not a single comrade lost. Despite Bravo Vic's best efforts. All told a worthy use of Party resources Comrade!
Outpost Victor
Pilot, Goose 1
Ah, flight. Is there any more noble, more awesome a way to scare the constipation right out of your Comrades tovarisch? Why, the Orca floors are specially designed with drainage and runoffs just so we can deal with that using the hose at the end of a mission. But I digress. We lifted from our base and headed to our formup point, and on this occasion nobody accidentally opened a window and threw themselves into the void so we were ahead of the game today. Our assigned LZ was almost on top of the enemy, though we could have gotten even closer, and we did take some small arms fire on landing, but our chalk got off without casualties and after that point tovarisch, they're not my problem anymore
Our targetstroops dropped off, Geese 1-4 hovered to the northern end of the valley awaiting CAS calls. Mine was first; a helo landing reinforcements. I couldn't get there before the helo lifted so I had no clear target for where the troops were, so I rocketed the general area and hoped for shrapnel before returning to the loiter point. My second CAS run was more measured and I dropped several hundred rounds and another rocket onto a marked enemy location, but with no obvious targets. The exfil from that run was... somewhat more challenging.
However this lack of clearly visible targets was now getting frustrating and on returning to the loiter point, an immediate recall to CAS the same area for a new IFV target probably affected my judgement; I got eyes on the target and tracked it trying to bring the helo's FFARs to bear, right until I flew into terrain at high speed and exploded.
Sigh. A senseless waste of party materiel...
The Rundown
Pilot, TH2
Having just flown an empty helo into the ground tovarisch, I felt it a good idea to fly a full one into the ground as well and so volunteered to fly TH2. We started premounted, though in the wrong seats and a quick shuffle later, we spun up and headed south to intercept Comrade eagle_eye and his backpack full of subversive pornographic material. TH1 spotted the first contact and as we were nearby and they had CO on board, we were tasked with harassing the enemies, which we did with a series of high speed passes and ARs firing from the skids. Then we were surprised by the appearance of a second contact from our rear and pulled back. Command chose that moment to retask us to follow another EI mark, which was on a straight line past the current contacts so it made sense to hit them one last time as we moved on.
Unfortunately, they had an MMG which I didn't know about, and he successfully perforated the pilot and engine and TH2 hit the ground at nearly 200kph into a conveniently placed rock, killing all but one of my chalk (that one had opted to jump out of the helo several minutes earlier).
There followed an excellent Costno-v-Fer&Ferrard firefight, much shouting in limbo at Comrade Eagle about his fear of getting in the truck and escaping, and then his actually doing so to the chagrin of CO.
Mutineers
Alpha Squad Medic with Fer (ASL)
Comrade Fer planned a detour to the south before swooping up to the north-east to rescue our obviously not very combat effective allies from the town. It sounded reasonable, we progressed with good movement and bounding, and then someone reported that the church was about to fall and we had to sacrifice safety for speed of motion. Bravo covered, Alpha pushed up in Alpha Vic as every bush, boulder and rifle round in the AO bounced off the hull. We finally made it, dismounted, and pushed into town. We were less than 100m from the church when Comrade Fer literally tripped over a CSAT AR trooper, who shot both Comrade Fer and myself and by the time I was revived, Comrade Fer was no longer of this world.
I popped all the smoke, we ran to the church and I spent a few minutes passing out Peppa Pig bandaids. They're a decadent capitalist crutch, but they do seem to help the troops in times of stress. We loaded up the source of all our woes our allies into the IFVs and had them leg it for the evac point while Alpha and Bravo pulled out the way they'd punched in. Along the way, a helo relieved itself of some high explosives near us and I had to go revive some people, but then we made it back and before we could away, the mission was called.
AFTERPARTY
Night of the Honking Dead
In which Comrade Netkev underlined the "creative" in "evil murdering swine". It was an interesting seminar...
HELICOPTERS
Once again, we are proving too good at this for the level of our problems with helos in normal missions.
Also, someone needs to check Comrade Netkev's amount of sleep the night before these events and how much tequila he's had access to before the session and ensure that he is denied the former and forced upon the latter...
Salt Flyers
I've heard it said Comrades, that the best offence is a good defence. Here I wish to point out that sometimes doing nothing is an even better offence...
