[Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

How we died (in the future)
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Sparks
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[Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Sparks »

Missions: A new-host-worryingly high of 41 comrades descended upon the server tonight, seeking blood and vengeance upon the AI in the name of the Party. As your new host, I did my best to completely disappoint everyone equally, but I fear Alpha 2 in Brushfire may have had slightly more disappointment than others. Fear not comrades, I shall endeavour to do horrible things to each and every one of you equally next time.

We began with a nice run of Comrade Eagle_Eye's Short Straw, which saw much in the way of... OSHA-unapproved driving of Hunters. MMG, Alpha and Bravo all acquitted themselves magnificently under Comrade Washington with the end result of very few casualties, and complete victory. This set the stage for the greater challange of Comrade Fer's Edna SE mission, where our three mechanised squads and attachments under the leadership of Comrade Tubby completely shredded the fools who dared to stand in the way of the Party and once again achieved complete victory with minimal losses. Comrade Tubby may not recognise a trap, but he certainly can fight his way out of one! This success prompted a testing of our mettle by setting us against ourselves in Comrade Aquarius' latest research project, Brushfire, with Comrade Gaius matching wits with Comrade Mabbot. While there were some... initial difficulties for INDFOR between unexpectedly early enemy contact and just plain being Arma'd into a tree, the subsequent glorious death of command and the... assistance... no, that's the wrong word really... intervention of Zeus; well they made for entertaining viewing. We expect INDFOR to see the joke any year now. However, despite this entertainment for the gods, INDFOR still prevailed, quite surprisingly.

We then had just enough time to try a quick run of Comrade Eagle_Eye and Comrade Tigershark's Mailman Extended. Comrades, I have always liked this mission and the new version of it is even more fun I think, as it can run either as a normal coop or an adversarial race. Or, as in this case, Comrade SuperU can be asked to act as Zeus and to, how did I put it...
Shock us. Awe us. Make our deaths glorious. (But do let people get to the ground first so we can see it coming)
Induce PTSD. Make them weep. If they wet themselves, you have succeeded .
Basically - you remember the film Zulu?
That.
I think comrades, that we can all agree Comrade SuperU did not disappoint. Our deaths were legion. Our acts awe-inspiring. Against heavily-armed infantry in superior cover and superior positions, with limited men and resources, against IFVs, technicals, five tanks and two jets; Alpha and Bravo and attachments under the so-so command of someone-or-other (my notes are somewhat scrawled here, a Comrade Katfitz maybe?) fought their way to the crash site, downloaded the data, extracted to the beach and somehow managed to exfil to almost a full hundred yards offshore before the last of us died in the crash when two jet fighters shot down our Huron over the bay. But Comrades - we prevented the data falling into the wrong hands! This was a great victory! And such glorious deaths! IT. WAS. MAGNIFICENT.
(We could almost hear Comrade Tigershark cry a single solitary tear of awe -- we are not certain if it was for our magnificent efforts or the trick the lady was doing with the ping-pong ball; but we're willing to believe it was the former).

Our afterparty was equally amusing - in future, we promise to remember to disable the AI for shipping problems, as forty-three is a bit of a crowd; and we note the increasing level of our piloting skills in HELICOPTERS, with several people managing to put their rockets in other people's helicopters at speed. Sadly, our swimming remains... something for us to work on, as GlubGlubGlub demonstrated.

Overall comrades, I think this was a magnificent evening, with highs and lows and sometimes even middles, all shot and sprayed all over the landscape. Well done everyone!

As is the custom among our people, please post your thoughts, feedback, evidence of perfidy, screenshots and video here - comrade SuperU's wonderful guide to our video branding is here and Comrade Carson has some excellent tips on video editing here. As Comrade Fer put it, "Post in the AAR Comrade, because I know what house you live in...". But more importantly, AAR threads do help us figure out how good our Comrades are becoming at not dying and let us kill them all faster challange them in more well-tailored ways in future sessions.

Also, they're often quite funny.

Finally, the Party's recommended reading list:
guns.ie ● stochasticgeometry.ie ● weak.ie

Don't tell mom I'm a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse

zitron
Posts: 151
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by zitron »


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ZeCatnip
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by ZeCatnip »

Brushfire. We may or may not have committed war crimes.... We pilled out of our technical and unloaded into what turned out to be a civilian. In our defense... erm... we were confused? What followed was a lot of exploding IFV's and a glorious last stand while our target power-walked to freedom.

Mailman Extended, good lord that was a meat grinder (also pretty fun). A2 got cut to ribbons trudging up a hill in view of every enemy in the valley, took down a sniper and some troopers, ran around patching each other up before being reduced down to two men. Then I got killed by friendly fire. That ending was brutal to watch. 10/10 would do that all again.

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ZeCatnip
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Location: I Hear Banjos

Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by ZeCatnip »

zitron wrote:
I heard the chatter about this afterwards, but good lordy that was amusing to watch.

Ligthert
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Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Ligthert »

Image

It was fun. :)

Reppyboyo
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Reppyboyo »



Highlighty stuffs and Gaius takes a shit. o_0

Pooter
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Pooter »

Short Straw
MMG spotter: Got assigned to stick to the southern hills to support the assault in the north. Unfortunately there were also enemies on the southern hills. Between myself, my gunner, and the other MMG gunner we managed to eliminate quite a few enemies including the last two who were hiding out in a small church everyone decided to ignore.
Edna SE
This is always an interesting mission, either the IFVs get destroyed by the one static AT launcher and all the infantry die to HMG fire or the IFVs slaughter the HMGs and the infantry have a cakewalk. This time it was the latter and I as a standard rifleman had little to do except for a few engagements and some long range plinking.
Brushfire
Wow, certainly an interesting mission. I lead A1 in our SAM truck which gave us quite a bit of trouble. You have to be standing in just the perfect spot to mount into the launcher, and it can take a good 30 seconds to get that spot, if you can at all.

We charged down the roads until we reached the main road that the colonel would be going down and saw an enemy MRAP pass right in front of us. I started to chase it only to discover a civilian vehicle on the road. Since we never got a description of what the colonel looked like or what vehicle he was in I assumed it was him and had my fireteam hose him down. Turns out it was just a regular civilian, I think... oops...

After some other hijinks including accidentally leaving my entire fireteam behind as AJAX and I manned the SAM truck to chase down enemies that were in the other direction, my fireteam and I started engaging the enemy in the town from a compound on the edge of town. At this point an AAF IFV joined us. Sadly we were not friends, so we proceeded to pop all of its tires and then blow it up with RPGs.

Mailman Extended
I ineffectually lead a fireteam to our doom sitting in various little houses. I never really knew where the enemy was, nor did I ever really get any orders, so we just sat and died. I don't do well leading when I have no information to go on.

darkChozo
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by darkChozo »

So, I managed to figure out OBS and this crazy "Windows Movie Maker" program, and have now decided to throw my hat in with the video-making crowd. First batch of videos seem to have come out pretty well, aside from the fact that I apparently need to move my mic somewhere not directly under my nose. Oh well.

Short Straw - Bravo 1 Autorifleman



Fun little infantry mission. Lots of foot slogging and spraying bullets at enemies half a kilometer away, which probably helps explain how I managed to use like three hundred-round mags for each kill I got. Totally not me being a bad shot or anything.

Edna - Alpha Squad Leader



Not my best commanding ever, but it worked. Alpha took the north flank for this one, out of sight of the main objectives, so we mostly were sniping at scattered dudes out in the fields, along with one pesky HMG. We were going to move out and actually assault at one point, but then the mission went and decided to end, so this was mostly an example of some heroic rock-hugging.

Brushfire - Bravo Fer Team Leader



I, uh, don't really know what happened this mission. Our two-man team was the reserve force, so the only information we had on what was going on was what we could glean from Teamspeak, making an already-confusing mission even more confusing. So, after some quality driving from myself and some subpar communication that lead to me almost killing Fer twice, we were blindsided by an IFV and shot to death. In retrospect, I probably should have kept us in better cover, but that would require a brain that was in working condition.

Mailman - Engineering Team Leader



This one was pretty dramatic. Very quickly after the mission started, I got my own personal helicopter after JTAC went for an accidental skydive minus the parachute. We then went full operator as everything else fell apart, making a few CAS runs using the Ghosthawk's (definitely effective) miniguns and eventually paradropping right onto the objective to try to salvage things. At that point, I missed that were consolidating comms in HQ and convinced myself that we were the only ones alive after no one responded on CC. Turns out that that wasn't quiiiite true, but in the end it didn't matter much as we collected the data and made a hasty retreat to a helo evac. Unfortunately, we weren't flying quite fast nor low enough (another in a long list of reasons why we need submersable helos) and got shot down maybe a hundred meters offshore, failing at the last moment succeeding at our original mission to destroy the data.

HELICOPTERS - Helicopter



I got kills! Two of them! And then someone legitimately killed me! Truly we've turned a page in HELICOPTERS history.

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Ralian
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Ralian »

Again, I reccomend opening youtube in a different tab to view my videos as there are some synchronization issues with the embedded app. Also I've been having more quality issues lately? Maybe I'll get this footage thing right one day.

Short Straw: ASL
In which I... dunno, this was pretty routine. Competent squad led to little drama eliminating targets, even if my SLing showed its cracks.


Took the first three objectives, rocketed the shit out of some vehicles, and went to great lengths with smoke to keep my squad ID'd. Really bravo did all the heavy hitting (despite us having the better over watch position!), we just waltzed into the first three objectives. Bravo, bravo.

Edna SE
: AV driver
In which I manage to drive us off two cliffs.


Synopsis:
12:35: Incident One
15:50: Incident Two
Might have done better if we had a present vehicle commander ;)

Brushfire: A1 Rocketman


Synopsis:
2:45: Haulin' Ass
5:30: Slight Detour... I calculated it out, we sailed through the air ~700m (completely in the opposite direction we wanted to go, as lady luck would have it)
16:10: Order up! That moment when the cook gives you the wrong meal
18:35: Eqbot as a distraction element
24:40: You da man, Tanwir!

Mailman XL: TH3 Pilot

A lot of my footage was rendered unusable in this mission. Not sure what's been causing my issues lately!?

Synopsis:
3:10: Spin up!
12:45: Who's up for a swim? Also we decide to drop, rather than deploy, ENG
22:00: Gunruns
28:45: Paradrop
43:50: Ded.

Afterparty:
In which I get shot down, shot up, and shot underwater


Synopsis:
1:20: Fuck it! We'll do it live!
6:10: Helicopters
8:50: I get shot down (kudos to whoever did that, that was a good shot)
12:00: A long round of glub glub glub... sorry it gets really dry towards the end, I should make a v2 :(
There are only three things I hate in this world: Ranting, Lists, and Irony.

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Sparks
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Re: [Sun] 18 Oct 2015 (Smooth Jazz)

Post by Sparks »

It seems strange to write an AAR for a session you hosted, but what the heck Comrades, if we didn't try new things, what would the Party have to reeducated us about in the Dacha?

Short Straw
CO Medic with Washington (CO)

Image

Our plan was simple - go sit on a quiet hilltop with sandwiches and coffee and watch the battle in the valley below. Very 1800s. And even though we forgot the coffee and sandwiches, the view was lovely and it was nice and relaxing. Sadly, there were enemy on the hill so we had to kill them because they were mean and shot me. Then both MMG elements engaged the far hill and the road in the valley below and we lost Comrade Fer to close contacts. Which we then murderised. After this, Bravo called up looking for resupply and I went from medic to logistics officer, nicked the PCMLs from MMG's hunter and put them in ours then went to drive to Bravo with the loot.

I may have neglected to note the slope on the direct-line path. Things got a little airborne for a while. But I got the high explosives there safely, Bravo nicked them all, I gave BSL a lift back to their truck which they'd forgotten and they used it to move up while I picked up CO. CO asked to go to the next hill and that there were bonus points for going fast. So I opted to skip the "ground" part of driving and tried to fly there. It went reasonably well. Then we spent another few minutes watching Alpha and Bravo engage the town, the reinforcements, the armour and then the town again, before CO decided to lead from the front and asked me to drive to the town any way I wanted to.

Well, why break the habit?

After we'd landed and I'd driven back to the town from half-way across the valley, we got out and started clearing buildings; CO was shot and called for help and said there was one enemy in the house. I misheard him (I thought he meant there was a wounded person in the door, not an enemy) and so I shot the other enemy in the house (which CO hadn't seen) and got shot by the enemy in the door (which CO *had* seen). Sadly it was a headshot so I watched from above as the EI walked out to steal my watch and gained a pound of 5.56mm lead from the entirety of bravo squad. A few moments later the last EI was dispatched and it was a total victory for the Party!



Edna SE
HAT1 spotter w/AT335 (AT gunner)

Image

Last time, this was a meatgrinder that ate IFVs and infantry alike and we never really got off the ridges. This time, we steamrollered the enemy in short order. HAT got little enough of the action - though at one stage we were coming under small arms and UGL fire at the back of the line which was worrying - and we had more injuries due to falling off rocks than due to enemy action. We did get a good hit in at the end after the mission was called, but it was a bit on the inactive side this time.



Brushfire
CO Medic with Gaius (CO)

Image

And I thought my driving was bad! :D

CO's reasonable plan was to race around the bay by road with Alpha and send Bravo 1 across the bay as backup, to try to reach the colonel before FIA did. What actually happened was that CO hit a FIA ambush that was backed up by Comrade Fer a mile off with an SPG technical. We lost our tyres, CO and I bailed, he tried evasion but was unsuccessful, I tried shooting up the technical but hadn't noticed until too late that some nekulturny joker had glued an ACO green to my rifle and so I died. But I died giving position information on the enemy by map marker with my last breath, which would have been glorious if Alpha 1 and 2 ever read their maps :P

While this was going on, Alpha 1 and 2 had gotten very close physically, and while expressing this deep comradeship, Alpha 2 wound up being flung fifty feet into the air, spinning several times and landing in a tree. But who hasn't had good Friday nights like that Comrades? This time though, Alpha 2 lost a tyre, so they limped along while appealing to Zeus for help. This meant that as Alpha 1 hit the top of the bay, Alpha 2 was at the airport and Bravo 1 was almost ashore across the bay despite the plan being for them to take a half-hour to get there.

Then Zeus helped Alpha 2 and took their mind entirely off a busted wheel. Once that was sorted and they had gotten moving again in an overpowered vehicle possibly chosen in error, Alpha 1 was sitting in the middle of a FIA ambush being shot at with pistols inside his giant armoured car which by now had no tyres at all (honestly, you park in the inner city, you expect this kind of thing). Bravo 1 was... I have no idea, I'd lost them by this point, and Alpha 2 was busy murdering FIA with all the 20mm rounds in their IFV. Comrade Fer's technical insurance premiums are not coming down next year. Then Alpha 2 snuck up behind the last few remnants of FIA, got out of their vehicle and it's bulletproof inch-thick armour, and were all shot in the head by OneRaven. Who was then murderised himself. A wall fell on the last two injured FIA and that was the end of that...



Mailman XL
MMG1 Spotter with Soviet (Gunner)

Image

Well you can't order a meat grinder and not stick your own hand in, can you comrades?

We had some minor logistical wiggles at the start, then a nice relaxing flight to the AO while CO pondered just jumping out the back sans parachute and ending it all, and CSL actually did jump out and end it all. Then TH2 tried for a mid-air collision but missed by inches, and then we arrived in the AO and things got dangerous.

CO, MAT and MMG landed to the south-west where it'd be nice and clear and were immediately shot at by several recon teams including a sniper with an anti-materiel rifle. We shot the closest crocodiles, MMG covering while CO and MAT headed to the summit to get overwatch of the AO. Soviet and I had a fighting retreat up the slope after them, and wiped out a fireteam or two in the process. I paused to nick a katiba with a UGL off a dead body as I figured the 40mm lovin' would be of use, Soviet reported being in cover and I ran up to join him, only to find his cooling twitching corpse when I got there. I have no idea what happened to him. I dropped the UGL and lifted the big gun, went to link up with CO & MAT and set up on a rock overlooking the AO and started shooting.

A few minutes and three boxes of ammo later, I noticed a small garrison of EI at the base of the hill. I was surprised at this, but there they were in all their katiba-carrying RPG-lugging CSAT gear, so I murderised one of them... to the sound of a friendly fire call. This was confusing. I looked again and there was smoke, like a friendly unit would have done. This was odd. I displaced, got another look, confirmed they were CSAT and not us, checked for map markers, decided it was a coincidence and killed the rest of them... only to hear CO call out that he'd just been killed. What the everloving?

Eventually I just decided this was coincidence and I kept on plinking away at targets I could see from the hill. Comms went quiet - I later found that people weren't consolidating on teamspeak and I had no CC on for some reason (it seems to be turning itself off on me at random). I kept plinking as the CAS runs and other fun things happened, then heard some calls asking who was up. I responded that I was up and soon got told to displace to the south side of the hill I was on for evac. Not my cup of tea but okay - but as I went south, I came under fire from close contacts, legged it back to cover, threw all my grenades at them, then moved uphill under the smoke cover. I waved off the helo as it came in, then surprised the EI fireteam, but MMGs are not CQB weapons when on full auto and down I went. I was sure that was it for me, so I called out the EI contacts, and waited to bleed out; but then someone walked up and revived me. MAT was that you? I ran a whole ten meters to cover, then got hit again and landed on MAT's body. Mystery person came over and revived us both, then wandered off. Did we have an AI on our team?

At this point, MAT was sniping with a commandeered sniper rifle and I was shooting away with the big gun, and then the engineers paradropped onto the crash site in a hot LZ. Awesome.

We suppressed what contacts we could see, and then legged it down the hill to link up with them when it looked like the transfer would be successful. We met up just as they'd retrieved the data, pulled out of the open field of the crash site and headed to the beach calling for the helos for evac. MMG was tail end charlie, emptying the last box of ammo towards anything I thought might have an enemy in it. The engineers piled into the huron, I followed in, landing in the copilot's seat somehow, we lifted and could taste the cold beer back home, when three jets turned the huron into swiss cheese from a mile out and we crashed 100m or so offshore. The data was safe, but alas, we were lost with all hands. Only TH3 survived, having landed just to our west on the beach and being disabled; and TH3 fell while trying to get south away from the AO.

But it was moral victory comrades, since we kept the data safe. No prying eyes will know of Comrade Aziz's dry cleaning bills!



Afterparty
Shipping Problems

So... yeah. Forty-three's a crowd :D



HELICOPTERS

I think we're getting too good at this...



Glub Glub Glub

...but we're definitely not getting too good at this :D








Also, why the thread title?

Image
guns.ie ● stochasticgeometry.ie ● weak.ie

Don't tell mom I'm a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse

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